Love of an old kind.

My dearest,
When two souls, which have sought each other for however long in the throng, have finally found each other ...a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are... begins on earth and continues forever in heaven.
This union is love, true love, ...a religion which deifies the loved one, whose life comes from devotion and passion, and for which the greatest sacrifices are the sweetest delights.
This is the love which you inspire in me... Your soul is made to love with the purity and passion of angels; but perhaps it can only love another angel, in which case I must tremble with apprehension. 

Yours forever,
Victor Hugo 

to Adele Foucher
1821-1822

The passion of love written with such delicate words.  People don't write enough love letters.  The idea of taking a pen and ink to an empty piece of paper.  A mere window into the soul.  The vulnerability of your most intimate words being transcribed into history forever.  Not the promise of a fairytale, but the fiery passion behind each written word, running like an electric current through the spine.

We should write more love letters.

My Project: November

1. Banish the demons
Franzia: Chillable Red.  (November was a doozie, we needed the big boy)

Everyone has something that gets them a little down from time to time, no matter how old or insignificant something may be.  In my attempt at this happiness thing, I am using November to identify the demons I have in my life that make me feel un-happy and find a way to banish them.

"The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?" - Holly Golightly Breakfast at Tiffany's

These demons come in the shape of bad past experiences, anxiety over the things I cannot change and people that have hurt me in the past.  As I embark on a new chapter of my life, I know that I need to get rid of the anxiety these can sometimes cause.  I also have come to realize that this may take a little longer than the month of November.  Maybe I need to downscale this slightly and add a demon to each month until I run out.

So with that being said, I'll start with the demons of old relationships.  My old relationship with my now husband to be exact.  The old boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with old fights, old habits, and old sadness.  We have been living together for quite some time in a home that he owned prior to us meeting, so I've always only had this much say in the decisions relating to the house.  But now we are husband and wife, and while he still owns the house, it becomes our home together.  A home for our new relationship, our new love, and our new happiness.  So with his blessing: Operation Facelift has commenced.  Thank God its not all in one month!

First up, our dining room.  I have had a love/hate relationship with this color for all of 5 years.  Love the orange, but struggled with the living room wall color competing so harshly with it.  A small change with such a huge result:

new paint, new trim, newly upholstered seats and a new bench (not pictured), complete with a painted dog.

I'm completely in love with this color!  We still have quite a bit left to do, but we're making major progress.  Especially thanks to my recent IKEA run with Nadine! 

In addition to new paint, new industrial lights for over the table will be installed, the existing built in (not pictured above) is turning into a bar, and a fantastic art piece is being created by my dear friend Erin.

new dining room lights

IKEA can get you into to trouble.  It's a good thing we took the Jetta!  We worked hard for that frozen yogurt.  I don't even feel bad about it.

November is turning into a success.  I will need much more wine to continue these house projects, but they make me HAPPY!

My Project: The List

Blackstone Winery: Cabernet Sauvignon
I'm such a red girl.


So I've created my list.  12 items to be tackled in the next 12 months, our first year of marriage.  Some I think I will be able to get through pretty easily, others may take a bit more effort.  One should always be striving to be a better person, so here is my year long committment to becoming a happier me.

1.       Banish demons

2.       De-clutter          

3.       Stay organized

4.       Be on time

5.       Spend less money

6.       Laugh more

7.       Be healthier

8.       Do what I say

9.       Let go of perfection

10.   Create new adventures

11.   Say no

12.   Remember me

My first item will most likely be the hardest, mainly because I push bad feelings into the crevis of my core.  They don't have a place in my new life.  So I'm grabbing a shovel, digging them out and kicking them out of my life for good.  Besides, tackling one of the hardest items means its all downhill from there, right?

I may need the bigger bottle of wine for November.

My Project

I like reading.  Hardcover books to be exact.  I'm probably one of the least techiest people I know, well besides my husband.  I never have the latest and greatest.  I only recently aqcuired the iPhone following 6year olds across the country.  So it's no surprise that I don't own an e-reader.  The funny thing is, I doubt that I ever will.  I like books.  The covers, the smell of the pages, the way they transform into art on my bookshelf.  I'm old fashioned.

My newest read: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

 

 

 

What a great read this is.  It's not one of those "discover who you are by traveling the world unrealistically for a year because you have zero money problems and can afford to be unemployed".  Gretchen's journey is a bit more realistic.  She's not unhappy in her current life, she just wants to live a happier life.  I can totally relate to this, see my list per the previous post.

So upon diving into this book, I've decided to embark on my own project.  In the typical behavior of an impatient person, I don't want to wait until January to begin mine.  I've just gotten married, why not make this project work over the course of my first year of marriage?  I also believe a good bottle of wine be required for each month.

So as Gretchen did, I shall start with outlining the things I'd like to tackle.  Without neglecting my previous list of course.  And with a bottle of wine. 

Stay posted.

Whoever said "lists don't work" is obviously wrong

 

 
Girlfriend finished college, oh what a feat!  Now on to the next!

disclaimer: I fully believe that lists are the key to success.  Following them in order, however, is not.

Where did the time go?

Now I remember...it's been in finishing my degree, finally.  My mom kicking cancer's ass, just like my sister and I knew she would.  Moving, again.  Planning a wedding to a rockstar.  Being the most awesome aunt to the most awesome niece.  And crafting my brains out.  Among the normal things.

My gosh, a lot has changed in the 2 years since I've posted anything.  I still write when I can find some time.  Not often enough though.  With all of the new and exciting happenings, this is when I should have been more active.  I know, I know.  Making the time for me, that was what I promised, wasn't it.

I'm on it.   

The Question Never Asked

I was living on the east coast...he came for Christmas, GORGEOUS ring in tow.  The plan had been set for months for the day after Christmas.  Family, New York City, Empire State Building, proposal of a lifetime.  What could be more romantic?

And then it snowed.  And snowed.  And snowed.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/December_2010_North_American_blizzard

We were snowed in.  Plans to explore NYC together spoiled, plans for this well thought out plan buried in the 32inches of snowfall.  I was disgruntled, to say the least...all I wanted was to show Dan New York, he making every effort to concoct PLAN B.
After much effort, on his part, we finally decided to be snowed in together at the closest hotel possible.  It was 10pm, we just checked into the hotel a 1/2 mile from my sister's house.  Dan was kneeling on the floor and I was sitting on the couch.  He reminded me how much he loved me and how much he couldn't wait to spend forever together....something like this:

Dan: Ferd, you know how much I love you, right?
Me: Yes
Dan: And you know how much I can't wait for you to be my wife?
Me:  I know.
Dan:  For all you know, I was going to ask you in the N  Y  C.
Me: Shut up, that's not even funny.
Dan:  For all you know, I'm about to ask you now...
Me:  What?
Dan: Ferd, will you......

The actual question was never even asked. Before Dan could get the rest of the sentence out, I somehow went from a perched position to leaping onto him. 

It was prefectly imperfect.

New York City can keep its Empire State Building.  The proposal couldn't have been more perfect.  Snowed in together, the streets quiet, alone to share the moment.  This was the moment two people had decided to spend forever together and this was exactly how it was supposed to happen.